Relationships are complicated, no one said it would be easy. Wait a minute! Yes, they did! Animation, fairy tales, movies, poetry, books, its in the stores, in holidays, Valentine’s Day, Christmas, not to mention social media! Plus everything about our society says that relationships are the cure and a fast track to pure bliss and happiness. Promising a new found confidence, self-love, happiness, independence, or the family I never had, I’ll be the parent I wish I had! All I have to do is find the one, the one just for me.
Then we cannot forget the plan! Oooh, the plan!
THE (inner child) PLAN
So you have a plan. Was this your dream? ‘I will be married at 28, 2 kids, one boy, one girl, I’ll have a house, a huge house, 2 cars, and a wonderful, caring, handsome man/beautiful woman!’ Oh and secretly weaved in is this ideal; ‘he/she will not have problems, not anything like mine! He will have confidence, she will not possess any anger management issues, he will know precisely what he wants in life, and love their career! They will have a great relationship with their parents and will not have any childhood trauma. This love of my life will fix all of my wounds, and make all of my pain go away. Our kids will be easy-going, smart, they won’t have any problems, they won’t have any illnesses.’ They will be the perfect versions of us.’
What a plan! Right?
What was the story you wrote for yourself? And how did that turn out? And if you have not yet played out your story, you may want to continue reading.
THE FAIRY TALE
Love from another, does not complete you. The shoe will not fit, and the kiss will not wake you up from life’s coma. I don’t mean to rain on your parade. Yet, what if metaphorically all the fairy tales are true?
Sleeping Beauty: is a metaphor; the sleeping consciousness. Love is not a prince riding on a white horse. While love can come and wake us up, with just a mere gesture, love from another awakens the love energy within us, what we have always had. The challenges and growth of relationships can bring us back to the awareness of this love. But most of us remain asleep, believing it’s a person, a thing or an experience that is to be acquired to find love.
As we live through our lives we are often not awake. It is one of the reasons the self-help movement is so powerful, it’s one of the wealthiest industries because we want to become awake, and we want to become aware.
Cinderella: The metaphor here is that we may come from poor places, we come from hearts and minds that are tarnished and dusty. That constantly needs cleaning and sweeping in order to maintain our existence. Many of us have layers of dust created as children. You’re continually trying to serve those weaknesses. And then the magic begins, maybe it is a guru, career, best friend or dare I say a lover who becomes your long-term partner, that will be your prince or princess. Fits you with the perfect shoe so that you can live in Bliss as royalty for the rest of your life.
You see the glass shoe is the reward, the reward that you receive after you have worked hard on yourself. And yet it wasn’t difficult; as Cinderella had her little mouse friends who could be metaphorically looked at as Hobbie’s, physical friends, experiences and memories, as she happily whistled while she worked.
We can do the same, yet instead, we become so attached to the outcome, and the desire must be fulfilled. We have to find that Golden Nugget, the bucket of gold at the end of the rainbow or the glass shoe. And we lose sight of the journey to real inner love.
We become so caught up in the desire, in the wanting and the expectations, that this plan is a sure bet to get us there. That along the way, we forget to whistle while we work.
We wonder, ‘is this going to be the last day that I have to do this work?’ ‘Will tomorrow be my magical day where my prince charming will show up, whisk me out of this life of misery, and create the perfect future that I’ve always dreamed of?’ That simple belief system is what causes our suffering, in desperation, we make bad choices, and we make poor decisions. We write these stories, then one day you meet someone who looks and acts just like the character you wrote and if they could fit into that story, then “they’re hired!” Cast in the role you’ve created for them to fit into. Did they apply for this role? Did you even give them a script to read, to see if they wanted to be in such a role? If the answer is, no, then now what?
IT’S NOT TOO LATE-allow the Universe to co-create with you
Before it’s too late throw away your story. The new story is: I am Born, I live, and I die. The end. I know that’s boring, yet it allows for so much improvisation. And allows the Universe to co-create with you!
Get to know who you are, what are your weaknesses, what are your strengths? Look at your childhood, what there a pattern? Dominating parent? Abandonment. WHere you rebellious, shy, or a loner? What did you not receive from a parent? Love, nurturing, encouragement… Assured it is what you will ‘need’ from a partner.
What I love about my job and my gift, is how I can see all the intricate individual layers of who you are and how they unfolded in this entire lifetime. And in past lives! Now add the fact that I can do this for your partner as well.
If you want to grow spiritually, get married and have kids! Seriously it will unfold you, reveal you, turn you inside out, unravel you, and reinvent you.
But it does not have to be painful.
What are the most hopeful Romantic Signs?
Astrology suggests that some signs are more romantic and idealistic than others. They love the honeymoon stage, in love with love itself and some become lost in their partners. Losing a sense of who they are.
Here are a few signs that are often considered to be particularly romantic:
This can be your Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus and or Mars Signs:
1. Leo is a sign that is associated with passion, creativity, and leadership. In love and relationships, Leo individuals tend to be very affectionate, generous, and loyal partners. They often enjoy being the center of attention and may have a natural charisma that makes them attractive to others.
Leos can be very passionate and romantic in their relationships. They enjoy grand gestures and may go out of their way to express their love and affection for their partners. Yet they truly want the other to treat them as such. They also tend to be very protective of those they care about and can be fiercely loyal and devoted.
One potential challenge is their tendency to romanticize their partners before the partner shows their true colours, as well as once in a long-term partnership to idealize that others have more exciting, loving unions than they have.
2. Libra: Libras are known for their charm and ability to form meaningful connections with others. They are often very social and enjoy being in relationships. They are also known for their sense of balance and harmony, which can make them great partners in romantic relationships.
One likely challenge is their tendency to give in to their partners before the partner shows their authentic self. Doing everything and anything their partner wants, in order to avoid conflict or wanting to be agreeable and liked.
3. Pisces: Pisces is known for being sensitive and compassionate, making them a great partner for those who want a deep emotional connection. They are often very creative and imaginative, and they tend to have a romantic and idealistic outlook on life. One possible challenge is their disposition to want to heal their partners. The idealistic desire that saving them will end in the last chapter of a romantic novel. Often ignoring the real problem and losing one’s self. In conclusion, we tend to romanticize love, and society as well as the media does not help.
Awareness and observation is the best way to remove yourself from the fairy tale story.
You may also be interested in my “Finding Love” course, Check it out under OFFERINGS.