The Judge who Judges
Judging how someone judges, is judgment. And there is a fine line between judgment and observation.
Observation: Look at how you are judging me. I notice how that hurts me Judgement: This is who you are, who you are not, and WHY you do what you do. That is judgement.
When we judge, we form an opinion on another, according to our beliefs. Sadly many will gossip about it as well. Some judgment is to validate our beliefs and make us feel better about ourselves, compared to the one we are judging. For many this can be very hurtful.
So how is complaining about someone who judges us, the same??
When we are hurt and speak ill of the person who has judged us, we assume we know why that person is acting as they are and at the next level, tell others or worse, tell that person how we feel about them and their damn judgment!
When I ‘observe’ they are — in judgment, I can then proceed to assume and form an opinion of why that person is judging me, then furthermore tell them or tell others how I feel and think, and that is also hurtful for many. Again more judgement.
Whew!
If you are not attached to their opinions, they cannot hurt you. If you are attached to their loving or liking you, they can hurt you.
Observing their ations and yours without emotions, such as anger fear, hurt etc. is a place we all could strive for. If you do react in this way, then deconstucting what it means to you is alos something we could aspire too.
This is a practice, not easy, but a daily practice.
Like in the FOUR Agreements: Assuming
Agreement 3: Don’t Make Assumptions
The third agreement describes the issue of making assumptions, how it leads to suffering, and why individuals should not partake in making them. When one assumes what others are thinking, it can create stress and interpersonal conflict because the person believes their assumption is a representation of the truth. Ruiz believes that a solution to overcoming the act of making an assumption is to ask questions and ensure that the communication is clear between the persons involved. Individuals can avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama by not making assumptions
Namaste
Holly
